Odd Advertisements – Yo Yo Ma and UBS?

Sometimes, I just don’t get it. When I first saw this advertisement, I thought, “What Nice Music”. Yo Yo Ma is, after all, a great cellist. The second and third time, I thought the same, “What Nice Music” and thought again, what fantastic musicians Yo Yo Ma and the pianist are.  It occurred to me after a hearing it a few times, that I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was that was being advertised. I had to concentrate really hard the next time I saw it – and there it was – the very unobtrusive UBS logo right at the end.

After many times, I have to admit, I still don’t get the logic of this advertisement. Some may call me obtuse, some may say I don’t appreciate a really good quality advertisement. Well, maybe that is all true, but I’m still baffled. I still find the association of Yo Yo Ma (and any musician or artist, for that matter) with UBS (or any bank, for that matter) a rather unnatural one.

“Working together” is something we would like all banks to do with their customers, sure. There’s nothing wrong with that, although, as a statement, it’s not particularly memorable – wouldn’t we obviously want that for any service industry? “Creating together?” Well, that’s something else. In this age, one cannot help but be reminded of “creative accounting” and “creative banking products” that led to the systemic collapse of the financial services industry. “Creative” seems to have almost become a dirty word, when associated with Finance. Doesn’t the ‘Sage of Omaha’, Warren Buffet say, after all, he likes to keep things simple? If he cannot understand something, he will not invest in it, he has always told us.

I will emphasise, this is just my opinion, and an expression of the impact of this advertisement on me (i.e. nil, as far as banks as concerned). I will never (easily anyway, even after seeing the advertisement many times) associate musicians with banks, and Yo Yo Ma with UBS. Do you have a different take on this?

Sci-fi: Conversations with an Extraterrestrial – (3)(ii)

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3. Business as Usual (ii)

Actually, never mind the devotion to finding and talking to aliens, the Dream Team’s work had many possible applications on Earth, as it stood. Alan was keenly aware though, of course, he was working for Don, and Don’s obsession was to find this life elsewhere. To think how much they could have done with all this knowledge on understanding how animals think and behave, what drives different behaviour like psychopathic thinking and how to address this and so on – it was mind-boggling.

Nevertheless, as those thoughts went through Alan’s head every now and again, he remained absolutely loyal to Don. Alan was a rules based, principled guy and this devotion to Don’s mission was hard wired now.

“Morning! How’s the Dream Team doing today?” Alan chirped. There were excited exchanges as they all chattered engaging in some fun for a while. Nancy and Tanaka had gone to a friend’s party the night before; Ollie broke his own record in a triathlon over the weekend and Alan spoke about his beautiful long walk over the hills. They shared a few photos.

“I have something to share with you”, Alan announced, moving the conversation into serious matters. “Felix and I had an interesting experience last night and in the early morning”, he said drawing out the iPad with all the recordings. The three dropped their chatter immediately and looked intently at Alan; Felix perked his ears up too waiting to relive the experience as told by his master.

Alan related the vision of something like ether, permeating and Felix being disturbed in the night. In the early morning, it came again and Alan had entered the cubipit with Antigua Helmet in time to catch a glimpse of an aura. Ollie jumped right on it. “Aura images are all recorded. I’ll just need to extract sensor Zee-3722 and process them. I’ll do that and put up the media, then we can all view it again – hopefully that’ll give us more clues about who’s trying to contact us about what”, he declared. The discussion continued…

Sci-fi: Conversations with an Extraterrestrial – (3)(i)

Business_as_Usual

3. Business as Usual (i)

The Dream Team met again. Nancy was the zoologist who had spent time with dolphins, elephants, dogs, whales and a whole lot of other animals, figuring out their senses. With all her work, the team was able to wear the Antigua Helmet and think like an elephant, dog, zebra etc. as required. She had spent two weeks with a rhinocerous once, both being totally at ease with each other, as in its mind she was just behaving like another in the herd.

Tanaka was the neuroscientist, studying the human brain with cutting edge technology in brain scans and other instruments for the nervous system. Never before had anyone understood so much about the brain. The amygdala was a particular fascination for him, with its incredible emotions like fear and panic affecting human behaviour. He was also now pretty clued up on psychopathic tendencies, what remorseless brains looked like and mapping brains according to the various spectrums – the Autistic spectrum, pattern recognition abilities, etc.

Ollie was the astrophysicist cum computer boffin who studied the planetary movements and put together all the findings of the team into the computer programs, microchips and sensors. Ollie advised when Mars was nearest or furthest or when disturbances from stars, comets and other matters interfered. With Ollie’s help, the team could predict and optimise when they picked up signals from the extraterrestrial beings. Ollie was also the one mad on computer programming and video games; it had been a hobby since he was five. This was a nice bonus for the team – he was a natural talent in putting all the findings together to work magic.

Alan was of course, the expert on extraterrestrial matters. He was skilled at many things and shared Ollie’s interest in technology but there were not many people who had studied extraterrestrial life to such an extent as Alan, and he focussed his efforts there.

Quotes from ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’

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I was travelling yesterday and re-watched a couple of old movies that I had seen a long time ago. One of them was ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’. There were a couple of charming quotes in the movie that made me smile.

Advice from Mother to Daughter on Influencing Dad:

“The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck… and the neck can turn the head in any way she wants.”

Wedding Speech by Bride’s Father on the Coming Together of the Two Families (Greek and American):

(The bridegroom’s family name was said to mean ‘apple’ and the bride’s family name meant ‘orange’.)

“Apples and oranges…they are different, but in the end, we are all fruit.”

Sci-fi: Conversations with an Extraterrestrial – (2)(ii)

2. Sequillious (ii)

What about this fellow, Alan Quinn? Why the hell was he trying to get in touch anyway? He was clearly an Asperger’s guy – what other kind of human could have meticulously collected and put together all this mundane, mind boggling data into the ingenious cubipit and Antigua Helmet in seven years? The other guy, Don Valentini was the scheming money-making megalomaniac. It was he who was behind this. Alan was the one with the talent who got lured and this was one unique way he could use his talents and not be criticized for not fitting into society.

Sequilious was fuming again as she thought through this surreptitious plot. Why can’t they deal with the gargantuan problems on Earth instead – trillion dollar debts, messed up global warming, fast depletion of natural resources, obesity…? They were really doomed, yet were investing on more greedy plots. They had pretty much destroyed their planet – now what, another planet?

Sequillous sat there imagining annihilating Earth. It brought a smile – that would take all the problems away. But no, her project ‘Rectify’ had a mission to preserve the good and do something about all those bad genetic mutations. Ambitious, yes, her boss Cancer was, but Sequillious got it. It made sense – it was just incredibly complicated to figure out the strategy.

She tuned in to CNN, watching the Presidential Debate. Blah, Blah, Blah. Ladies caked up with cosmetics…if earthlings had Ladingans’ sensory perceptions, they would realize they look much uglier caked up…such a waste of the multi-billion dollar cosmetics industry. Men in suits and ties, so others would respect the suit and tie if not the person… Huffffffff! She puffed out into Hugo again. Yabber, yabber…. !

Losing patience with the debate, Sequillious tuned out and thought about a juicy vitamin drink. The brain waves registered with her robot, Jara, who promptly served it.

Sci-fi: Conversations with an Extraterrestrial – (2)(i)

2. Sequillious (i)

Sequillious grimaced at the thought of her next assignment from her community hideout in Mars, Ladinga. She hated Earth and all the nonsense that was going on there. In the five years that she had studied Earth, she grew an intense dislike for earthlings. She understood them far better than they themselves did, now. Of course, she would; the Ladingans’ IQ levels were easily double that of those earthlings. Now this Alan Quinn fellow was making considerable progress but she was going to keep him at bay. Damn! They had done enough damage on that beautiful planet Earth – forget about letting them anywhere near Ladinga or detecting any presence of life here.  That would be a grave mistake.

She lay there thinking, trying to fathom all the earthlings were up to. Psychopaths (or at least people having those psychopathic tendencies or other psychiatric abnormalities) seemed to be the new ‘kings’ on Earth. Their remorseless greed was rewarded. So, they used creative or cunning schemes to get the bucks rolling in and show their prowess. Those with no power had well, no power, even if they had more sense or morals. All that doping in sports, sex scandals leaders got involved in and all that white-collar crime made Sequillious cringe.

Sigh! There was also what the economy was coming too. It wasn’t all about producing useful stuff like healthy food, science education and medical technology. It was now so much about advertising and spin-doctoring to deceive, then sucking money from those who could be lured.  Never mind the billion or two people suffering or dying from poverty and disease every day – everyone was fixated on ego-boosting “cool” stuff that made statements about how important they were.  Hufffffffffff! She puffed vigorously three times into Hugo, the Toxic Recycler to attempt to cleanse herself from the toxic Earth thoughts.

Left Brain – Right Brain Confusion

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I attended a 2-day training programme, about a year ago, by a company called Dramatic Resources, as part of a course I was attending. This 2-day segment was mainly on public speaking and leadership.

One set of exercises we had to do in the programme starkly showed how the interaction of the left brain and right brain can sometimes derail us if we are not careful. This has implications in the things we do in life so it is worth taking note.

Here’s how the exercises went. We paired ourselves up (to illustrate, let’s call the participants in a pair A and B) and did the following exercises:

Exercise 1

A and B say 1,2,3,1,2,3, in sequence alternating between A and B quickly (i.e. A:1; B:2; A:3; B:1; A:2; B3; A:1 etc)

This, apparently, is an activity in which the left brain predominantly, is used.

Exercise 2

A and B do the actions (clap, stamp your foot, flick your fingers) in sequence alternating between A and B quickly (i.e. A:clap; B:stamp; A:flick; B:clap; A:stamp; B:flick; A:clap etc)

This got us into a groove. We almost felt like we were dancing! In this mode, we managed quite well. This, apparently, is an activity in which the right brain, predominantly, is used.

Exercise 3

Combining the above, A and B had to insert the numbers in Exercise 1 after every 2 actions in Exercise 2 (clap, stamp, say 1, flick, clap, say 2, stamp, flick, say 3, clap, stamp, say 1 etc. ) in sequence alternating between A and B quickly (i.e. A:clap; B:stamp; A:1; B:flick; A:clap; B:2; A:stamp; B:flick; A:3, etc). As you can imagine, this drove us crazy!! It was really, really hard to do this quickly. This, apparently, is an activity using both the right and left brain and gets very confusing.

This really hit the point home for me and I found the exercise very insightful.

There are examples of this in real life. A child may get quite carried away in telling a story using her imagination (right brain activity). When an adult comes a long and chides the child, demanding an explanation as to why she is not doing her homework (left brain activity to answer this) she just freezes, going blank.

This could sometimes be what happens when we are talking to an audience, happily engrossed in the description of what we are saying and something triggers left brain activity (doubt for example – why is that person reading his blackberry instead of listening? Am I boring them?) This disrupts our right brain activity that was carrying on so nicely until interrupted.

I find it very useful to have this understanding of how our brains function. With this knowledge we can try to consciously tell the offending part of the brain to keep from interefering (for a while when we need this discipline) when another part of the brain is doing just fine.

Have you had such an experience you would like to share?

Sci-fi: Conversations with an Extraterrestrial – (1)(ii)

1. Alan Quinn’s Quest (ii)

Phew! Alan plonked himself on the sofa. The cool, fresh oxygen had profusely infused all the haemoglobin within him. A full night’s sleep would be just perfect now to get the right-brain activity going for another day. He thought through the next day’s meetings he’d called with his bright team leaders, Nancy, Tanaka and Ollie. After a hot shower, he fell into bed, exhausted. The ‘Antigua Helmet’ on the side table caught his eye – he put it on just to get one last feel of it before falling asleep.

Before he knew it, Alan was fast asleep without having remembered to remove the prized Helmet from his head. Felix cocked his head up and sideways, looking surprised, but decided not to awaken his master. He admired the helmet for a while; it was more like a crown, with beads of sensors adorning the protruding top, all around. Then he too fell asleep.

“Whoaaaa!!” Alan shouted after about fifteen minutes. He gingerly took off the Antigua Helmet and placed it carefully on the table again. Then he grabbed his iPad and scribbled down a few things, stunned by what he had experienced. Felix stretched and yawned – it was not uncommon for his master to have epiphanies at unexpected times and leave whatever he was doing to note it all down.

Done! Alan was really exhausted now. Both Alan and Felix slept soundly for about four hours until Felix suddenly had a strange sensation and barked sharply, waking Alan. Alan jumped out shrinking the ‘cubipit’, bringing it into the room and expanding it again, all with a remote control device. Then he and Felix entered the ‘cubipit’ with the ‘Antigua Helmet’ and Alan wore the Helmet. Tuning in, he understood what Felix was sensing. This magical ‘cubipit-Antigua Helmet’ combination was working so well now that he just wanted to prove it on an impending tsunami. He now had the intelligence to detect whatever the animals could sense, as well as a tonne more.

Sci-fi: Conversations with an Extraterrestrial – (1)(i)

1. Alan Quinn’s Quest (i)

Alan Quinn unwound in a long walk after another absorbing day at his ‘cubipit’. Felix trotted merrily alongside, his tail wagging unstoppably. His master’s buoyant spirits of late had an all-uplifting, all-invigorating effect on Felix. The spaniel, now five years old, had been with Alan since he was a week old, the two having an intimate understanding of each other.

It was the discovery of the Higg’s boson that had really put a bounce in Alan’s stride. It had taken those scientists thirty years and they had finally zoomed in on that elusive particle. Alan’s project was just under seven years young. (Aha! Don couldn’t complain now.) He was more convinced than ever, his elusive find was lurking around the corner too. A faint, faint whiff of victory approaching was pumping his adrenalin.

Luckily Alan didn’t need government funding; surely if he did, this project would have seen the same fate as the ‘God particle’ project and been taken up by European scientists. No, Alan was fortunate – blessed indeed, to have had the backing of his angel investor who was banking on his success. Don Valentini applied considerable pressure on Alan – he was an impatient guy, full of anticipation for his mega-buck returns. This genius, Alan, was an absolute gem of a find for Don – rare and priceless.

There was no Hadron collider, no need for the elaborate set-up as at CERN. This was different. Alan’s project (called ‘Chocolate’ for reasons of secrecy) was mostly done in the ‘cubipit’. The ‘cubipit’ was a mobile cubicle, but looked inside, like an aircraft’s cockpit (hence the name ‘cubipit’), with dashboards, dials, electronic sensors, electrical wiring and levers; it could fly like an airplane if required.

Real Life Drama – Stranger Than Fiction?

Is it just me or are stories of real events becoming more out-of-this-world than fiction iteslf?

First, there was the brilliant neuroscience doctoral student, James Holmes who turned murderer. Well OK, scientists and professionals do become terrorists, so after 9/11 you could argue such sagas are no longer “black swan” in nature.

Fresh off the press, we have the truly inspirational cancer survivor and biking superstar, Lance Armstrong whose story we are having to unwind, like a bad dream. In fact one bookstore has labelled a Lance Amstrong memoir as “fiction”, puchasable for a paltry one pound.

I have recently been tempted to ask the question, do real life experiences provide fodder for fiction or is it the other way round now – i.e. is fiction inspiring real life malice?

To get back to reality, we do make many assumptions in real life. Surely, it must have seemed plausible to some all along that Lance Armstrong could just be way ahead of the regulators in doping, and athletes being ahead of doping agencies in the doping game is not a new phenomenon. Similarly, what’s to proof that a scientist’s (or anyone else’s) moral compass is sound? The real life stories, it would seem, are built on somewhat wobbly foundations to start with.